The campus was filled with Christmas decorations - lights blinked in every window. Songs came
from open doors. The scent of pine and chestnuts rose from the quad. Other students laughed,
shared photos, hurried home or to parties. Sara sat on her bed in a blue lace nightgown that felt
pretty only to her. The room stayed silent apart from the laptop fan.
The phone rang. The screen showed MOM - Sara picked up on the second ring and brightened
her voice before she spoke.
“Hey, Mom”
“Hi, sweetheart! How are you holding up? Finally breathing down your neck yet?”
She rested her back against the wall plus pulled her knees to her chest. “Yeah… It’s a lot. I’m
trying to power through, but it feels like the books are multiplying every time I blink.”
Her mother gave a quiet laugh - the warm sound always tightened Sara's chest. “I can only
imagine. Just remember to breathe, okay? Take breaks. Be kind to yourself. You’re tougher than
you think, and I’m rooting for you every second.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Sara swallowed hard. “Merry Christmas, by the way.”
“Merry Christmas, baby! I wish I were there with you. This place feels too quiet without you.”
Silence followed - no one spoke, but the air felt heavy with words left unsaid. “But you’ll be
home soon, right? Tell me about your break plans.”
Sara's throat clenched so sharply she nearly let the phone slip. The same old panic flared beneath
her ribs - the prospect of stepping into that house again, walls that still held every bad memory.
She held her voice level. “I miss everyone too. College is great, but the holidays… they hit
different when you’re away.”
Her mother's voice grew gentler. “I know, honey. Christmas will be extra special this year with
you back. I’m already planning your favorites.”
Each told the other, "I love you," then the call ended - Sara kept her eyes on the dark screen for a
full minute while her pulse hammered. One part of her longed to weep from love for her mother.
Another part felt nauseated at the thought of returning home.
The phone vibrated a second time, almost right away - Sophie's name showed.
Sara lifted the handset and spoke with the same forced cheer. “Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas to you, girl! You sound way too calm for someone stuck in a dorm on the
biggest family day of the year.”
A laugh slipped from Sara, but the sound felt brittle. “I’m good. Just… family stuff fell through at
the last minute. I’m on my own tonight.”
Sophie kept the pace steady. “Then come over! My folks are out of town, too. We’ll watch
terrible Christmas movies, eat way too much junk food, play stupid games. No pressure, just us.”
The offer hovered in the air like a rescue rope - Sara saw the scene in her mind - Sophie's snug
lounge, small sparkling lamps, both of them laughing until their midsections ached. For a
moment she nearly agreed.
Then the room seemed to shrink once more.
“I wish I could,” she answered, already disgusted by the untruth. “But I’ve got this huge assignment due tomorrow morning. I’m buried in it.”
Sophie exhaled, let down but gentle. “Ugh, okay. I get it. Don’t work too hard, though. And call
me know if you change your mind, alright?”
“Promise. Thanks, Soph”
Sara terminated the call and let the phone fall on the bed. Thick and heavy, the silence returned
in. Someone ignited fireworks outside, coloring her window in gold and crimson. Staring at the
partially completed notes on her desk, she pulled the blanket around her shoulders and remained
motionless.
Here she was safe alone, but safe. And that felt the only thing that mattered right now.
